One of my defects...

is that I don't always do what I should do when I should do it.  Why?  I'm not always sure.  Sometimes it is laziness.  Sometimes I'm afraid others won't like me.  Sometimes I think it won't make a difference.  Sometimes I lack courage.  Sometimes I don't know where to even begin.  Sometimes I let others dictate my actions.  All of these excuses has led to enslavement. 

My time is not my own nor is it available for what God would have me do.  I do things I don't want to do and these things don't seem like God's will for me.  I believe if it was God's will, I would have peace but instead I'm unsettled, discontent and restless.  I have a longing to bust free but is that just my heart and my selfishness deceiving me?  I don't know.  I'm just confused.  Why can't God just put it in neon lights, "Donna...do this, not that."  It would make it so much easier.

It might but I would be missing out on some very valuable lessons.  In Ephesians 5:15-16 we are instructed to:

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,

Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Have I been walking circumspectly?  No.  I haven't been consulting the Lord about my days as I should.  Have I been redeeming the time?  No, not really.  Sometimes my efforts are spent on the things that last but not the majority of the time. 

Time for prayer and seeking the Lord more intensely instead of drifting along like I have been lately.